I just started driving and it wasn’t until about an hour I didn’t even have any GPS turned on. I was just driving. I was like – Guess I’m gonna go to my mom’s. So I called.
I said, “Hey, I’m on my way. I don’t really know, I’ll be there at some point today”. That’s like I didn’t even know what direction I’m headed.
It was like a hypnotized, numb like, stop at red lights look at the speed limit and it was just chaos. And Adam’s wife, she would call me every five minutes and I’d pick up the phone every time and I just sit there and I’m saying I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry… and she’d be like – and then this and this and that.
I mean of course she’s saying terrible things, accusing me of things that I did not do, but I understood that of course she’s devastated.
So it’s just like I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… and then wait. She’d do it again and I’d be like yes, you can yell at me.
For the most part, every woman in that locker room judged me. Every of the other wrestlers’ wives, the boys judged me, but as shameful as they acted towards me, I was punishing myself even worse.
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