During a recent appearance on Making Their Way To The Ring with Lillian Garcia, WWE Hall of Famer Lita talked about why she cheated on Matt Hardy with Edge. Below is their conversation:
Lita: I knew Matt.. you know…I met him at an independent show. Until I was in the WWE we became pretty tight, but honestly it was the bond on the love of chasing our dream. So that was our main bond always. Sure we had good banter, we got along and never argued.
I remember when I broke my neck and I was at home he’s on the road and they’re doing their thing, it was the first chance I had a chance to reflect. From the moment I decided I wanted to be a wrestler till the time I broke my neck. I didn’t think about anything except what’s the next baby step I can do to take forward to progress my career, to increase my chances of doing all the things I want to do.
That’s what I was thinking about and as was Matt for a much longer time. So it was a great thing to bond on. It was a great creative – “What do you think about this finish? What do you think about this gear?” and I mean that part of it was 100% fulfilling.
But I do remember when I broke my neck and everything came to a screeching halt for a second and I had a moment to reflect on accomplishing like – Whoa you did that for a minute there. And then I also had a second to realize there was anything outside of the wrestling industry because every and all things pertain to only that and that’s the only way people are gonna be successful is to just dive in 100%. I was forced to have to see what else was out there and just reflect.
So I remember having this moment that…. I wasn’t in an argument with Matt. We were slightly disconnected while I was at home recuperating because he was still a hundred percent into his career and I was 100% out of it at that moment because I had to be. And I remember thinking – yeah we’re not gonna be together when our careers are over because that is our bond. The way we view life, our interests don’t really align.
It was so weird because I was like – “Okay so now that I know that, should we split up or….? But I love him and I love our time together. So no. But I can’t see growing old with this person”. It was weird. It was weird, but I think it’s okay you can have awesome great chapters and learn from people and knowing that they’re not gonna…. they’re not yours forever and they may be two months from now or two years from now and that’s okay. But as I said, I didn’t know what do I do with this information that I just came to….
So when Adam and I started to bond on such a deeper level as well as having the creative outlet with our careers and stuff, both of us, we were kind of like – Oh sh*t! Like once we started to realize we were more than just two bros just hanging out. So the hard thing that has always been with this time period is we realized we were going down a path that we shouldn’t and what I mean by that is mentally.
So we’d kissed finally and freaked out. And around that same time I tore my ACL and I was gonna be away. So Matt was off the road. Adam was on the road and I said, “Hey, you know what? Let’s take this as an opportunity. We need to just be in our own worlds and evaluate. Don’t do anything for me. I’m not gonna do anything for you. I need to figure out what is right for my world.
You need to figure out what’s right for your world. If we meet up on the other side, cool. If not, I support and respect whatever your decisions are. He’s like okay that sounds like the mature adult thing to do.”
He left a message on my voice on my cell phone that pretty much just spelled out everything and his feelings for me and his intentions and what he wanted to do and everything. This was at the time where we weren’t as glued to our cell phones. And I was coming home.
My knee was hurt. I was coming home. I turned off my phone and I was ready to just kind of check out from wrestling and anything and Matt was just feeling like something’s not right. So I was asleep and he went and checked my cell phone and there’s that message from Adam and it was not like – oh he was just worried about my knee whatever. And I just looked at him and I said, “I’m sorry” and I took my keys and I got in my car and it was six o’clock in the morning or something like that.
I just started driving and it wasn’t until about an hour I didn’t even have any GPS turned on. I was just driving. I was like – Guess I’m gonna go to my mom’s. So I called. I said, “Hey, I’m on my way. I don’t really know, I’ll be there at some point today”. That’s like I didn’t even know what direction I’m headed.
It was like a hypnotized, numb like, stop at red lights look at the speed limit and it was just chaos. And Adam’s wife, she would call me every five minutes and I’d pick up the phone every time and I just sit there and I’m saying I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry… and she’d be like – and then this and this and that.
I mean of course she’s saying terrible things, accusing me of things that I did not do, but I understood that of course she’s devastated. So it’s just like I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… and then wait. She’d do it again and I’d be like yes, you can yell at me.
For the most part, every woman in that locker room judged me. Every of the other wrestlers’ wives, the boys judged me, but as shameful as they acted towards me, I was punishing myself even worse. I was like you’re terrible, how could you do this to everyone involved. So I just felt like I deserved everything I got and more. I just felt so bad about it.
Lillian: I remember pulling you on the side and I get emotional too because I remember that moment and I remember pulling you on the side and just telling you like – Nobody should be judging anybody. We’ve all done things in our lives. I remember I saw you beating yourself up to no end.
Lita: I was so skinny and I remember everybody’s like “Oh my god you look so good”. I was like yeah I have ulcers, I don’t eat, I don’t sleep. So it was just rough and as bad as it was, I had him when I tried to do this like half in half out thing. Because we always said we didn’t regret our bond. We regret how we went about it. As we felt so bad so we’re like we don’t want to put anybody’s face like everybody’s hurting so bad.
I didn’t have anybody to weather the storm with. So we tried. We had some great time. We had some great moments. But ultimately it was too tainted going in on the front end to be able to sustain. So it took up so long to be comfortable and okay with everything. I think Adam and I, our whole thing always had been like I don’t want to say anything and I’m not going to talk about it because I can actually deny about 80% of the recount and how it went about and what we our actual level of involvement was. But I can’t deny 100% percent of it so I’m just gonna shut up.
Lillian: How was that for you when it got turned into a storyline when you were with him and then Matt?
Lita: It was everything I could do to get on the plane, to come to work and honestly again I was like punishing myself like……The office came to Adam and I and said… Well, Matt ultimately got fired for being unprofessional.
But then because it became such a hot story they said, “We want to turn this into a story. But you guys have been professional. He hasn’t. There is money involved in the storyline, but it’s your call”.
We felt terrible that he lost his job over this. So we made our bed and lie in it. Basically it was like so that he could have a job. I came to work and did that story.
Lillian: When was the first encounter that you had because you had to talk to him.
Lita: Some time early on there was a ‘Byte This’ episode. It was like an early internet show that WWE did. And they’re like – we just want it to be real. And I was like you don’t because that’s me crying and saying sorry and also Adam feeling really bad and saying sorry. So you don’t want to be real.
So I just remember sitting there just like my jaw clenched so tight because that whole thing, it’s just like I wanted to cry, scream, curse and walk out at all times. And finally graduating from that story and getting to have fun with as the “Rated R” couple and doing all the ridiculous things that we did.
But it’s then I can get into a character version of this thing because it just didn’t feel like a character. It felt real. It felt way too real, but not in a way of like okay whatever…… So there’s this portion of this, that’s real. Being acted out and expressed in a completely different way than I actually feel. So it was very hard to come to work.